How to know if you have what it takes
Go and ask Michael Jordan. He'll tell you to just do it.
No, seriously, there really isn't any other way to find out if you will be able to do it. The only thing you can do is have yourself better prepared for what lies ahead once you are in a long distance relationship.
To be quite honest, I believe that everybody has the potential to make a long distance relationship work. Go to a forum and ask a simple question like: Do you think you can have a long distance relationship? I'd bet you that at least half the people responding would say no. Some would even try and persuade you that long distance relationships don't work. They've been proven wrong time after time, so I prefer not to even enter a discussion with people like that.
It has been said that if you surround yourself with the negative messages from negative people all the time, you will become negative. It's probably been proven by somebody somewhere, but I don't need proof of it, it sounds like common sense and that is enough.
I would agree that some people will find it very hard to be in a long distance relationship. For others, it may be quite easy. So how do you become someone that can do a long distance relationship?
Becoming a long distance relationship survivor
Getting your mindset right
I personally think it comes down to commitment. You have to commit yourself to making a long distance relationship work. In fact, you have to commit yourself to making any relationship work. Long distance relationships aren't really that different from normal relationships. The temptations and frustrations aren't really bigger, they're just different. Once you wrap your head around that concept, you're already halfway towards making a success of your long distance relationship.
Do a search on ezine articles for an article called Communication, Commitment and Trust that I posted on here recently. It will help you a lot.
Read that article, and get you mindset geared towards making a long distance relationship work. Next, you will have to get your life geared towards making a long distance relationship possible.
Getting your life right
You now have to think long distance relationship. If you're not yet in a long distance relationship, but heading towards one (maybe your partner is leaving soon to go and work somewhere else?) you have a great opportunity to start it right first time. If you're already in a long distance relationship, don't despair. Most of the things you need to do, you will probably do correctly instinctively. You need to be prepared for quite a lot of things. This list is in no way exhaustive. Your specific situation may have a lot more variables. When heading into a long distance relationship, you should think about:
- How are you going to communicate
- How often are you going to communicate
- When are you going to see each other again
- How will you keep yourself occupied
How are you going to communicate
You should sort it out beforehand. For instance, where I am now, in the bush, there are no telephone lines. There are cell phone towers, but to phone internationally with them is very expensive. Luckily we have a satellite internet connection, so we can use VOIP (skype, etc.) to communicate. What mode of communication will you use?
How often are you going to communicate
Set out specific times when you will be contacting each other. It helps to gives you some kind of structure in your life to hold on to, and gives you something to look forward to.
When are you going to see each other again
Obviously as soon as possible, but have you planned it out yet? When is it going to be? How are you going to get together? It's fun to plan out your get-togethers, and it helps you to realize you'll soon be seeing each other again.
How will you keep yourself occupied
Remember, if you're new to this, you will suddenly find yourself with a lot more time on your hands. You don't want to be using that time negatively by becoming depressed about being alone. If you need to, you can even sign up for an evening class in something you've always wanted to do. Make the most out of the bad situation by making the most out of your own talents.
In conclusion, I would say you are probably right for a long distance relationship. Nobody likes them, and everybody would like to avoid them if they can, but unfortunately that isn't always an option. Give it a shot - you'll be surprised to find out your own strength.
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