Long Distance Relationship - Advice on Dos and Don'ts

Throughout our experience working with long distance relationship couples, we had discovered that there are lots of thing that we must do and as well as refrain from doing in order to survive the relationship. Below are some of the advices that we have compiled over the years. Although they may look simple but when it comes to the actual execution, it may take more than your effort and discipline. It is your desire to survive the relationship that makes the most impact in writing the outcome of your distance relationship. Consider some of the below do and don't list and together with your desire, I am pretty sure you are able to conquer your distance relationship with ease and fun.

Do's

1) Establish an effective communication channel

The very first thing that you must do in a long distance relationship is to establish an effective communication channel. Most people will think that telephone is the most convenient mode of communication but apart from the telephone services, there are some other alternative you can use. Instant messenger, emails, VOIP phone and conventional mails can be very effective if you know how to use them. Each of the communication channels has its own advantages and disadvantages and therefore you must start to explore each of them to enhance your communication experience.

2) Plan to meet each other

There is nothing more important than planning to meet each other again at an interval of time throughout the period of your long distance relationship. This will help both you and your partner to catch up with each other over the things that you cannot do while apart. The anticipation of seeing each other again will always give you the excitement, hope and as well as eliminating the lonely feeling in your LDR.

3) Build hobby that you can both share

By building and keeping a hobby, both of you will have something to discuss and work on throughout your distance relationship. Finding something to do online can be quite interesting judging from its speed and reach ability but never leave out conventional hobby as well because you do not need to have your partner's physical present to share a hobby.

4) Surprise your partner

Occasionally surprise you partner with cards, gifts, letter and flower out of their expectation apart from your normal correspondence. Put your imagination to use and your partner will be sure to love your effort in keeping them happy. Sending the unexpected gifts to your partner will always spice up your distance relationship regardless how far your partner may be.

5) Capture and share that interesting moment

Throughout the period of your LDR, you can always capture some interesting moment of yours by exchanging photos, video clips and as well as audio recording. This will indirectly keep your partner informed on what has happen in your life despite the physical distance.

Don'ts

1) Settle for a temporary replacement

One of the mistakes that a distance relationship couple often make is to settle for a temporary replacement when their partner is not physical around. By letting a third party into your life, you will not only put your distance relationship to risk but you will also break the mutual trust and agreement that you make. Although it may not be done intentionally but this type of mistake will be very costly to your long distance relationship.

2) Take the relationship lightly

The absence of your partner does not give you the license to dictate and manipulate the relationship. You must remember that, your partner has their own right to participate in any decision making toward the well being of your relationship regardless where there are. A long distance relationship is also as important as a normal relationship and your partner has their own right to be treated fairly.

3) Wait and see attitude

Most of the failures in distance relationship that we observed are contributed by the wait and see attitude of the couples themselves. This was caused by the insecurity of the couple as they do not think that the LDR will work but at the same time they do not want to put a stop to the relationship. Let me tell you this, if you plan to have this kind of attitude, refrain from walking into one at the first place because both you and your partner will suffer in the relationship. In a LDR, both partners must be committed and proactive in bringing the relationship to a higher level.

4) Suspicion

There are no rooms for suspicion in a long distance relationship. In order for you to survive your distance relationship, you must learn to trust your partner whole heartedly. A single suspicion will break the bond you have for each other and it is a beginning of the end if you start to suspect your partner at any point of your LDR. Although it is easier said than done but trust me, if your partner is apt to do something unfaithful to you, they will still do it under your nose. Therefore there is no need for you to create such unnecessary stress in your LDR.

5) Succumb to negative comment on LDR

Couples in distance relationship always make a mistake by believing that LDR do not work. The negative impression you have in LDR will eventually hunt you down and destroy your relationship if you choose to listen to the negative comment. Therefore, once you have decided to enter into a long distance relationship, you must learn to believe that your relationship will work. I knew it because I had successfully conquered my own distance relationship due to the reason that I am not influence by any of the bad comments I received.

Long Distance Relationship Advice - Can You Maintain a Long Distance Relationship and Make It Work?

Most relationships pose a challenge one way or another but maintaining a long distance relationship can stretch the love of any couple. The question is - how would you maintain a long distance relationship and make it work? To begin with, it takes two mature people, who have good communication skills, who are willing to work together, and have some helpful long distance relationship advice to follow.

I have included in this article some of the pitfalls that are common when couples are in a long distance relationship and also some very effective tips that will ensure that your relationship not only works but blossoms.

First, let us look at some of the pitfalls to be wary of before embarking on a long distance relationship:

Insecurity - if you struggle with insecure feelings and find it difficult to trust what you cannot see then this type of relationship will at best test you to the limits and at worst be disastrous for you. This kind of relationship requires good levels of trust and you would need to know in your heart that your partner was okay and being faithful even though you are not physically together.

Suspicion - this is an extension of having insecurities, where you not only have difficulty trusting your partner but you do not have any confidence that your partner can remain faithful in any circumstance. You may even think things are going on when there are perfectly reasonable explanations and it is not at all what you imagined it to be.

Faithfulness - it would be very tempting to have a casual relationship with another partner when not together, and unless this is something that you have both discussed and agreed about going out with other people, you should be faithful to each other while in this relationship. If you are going to have a "fling" why would you have a long distance relationship with another person?

If these situations are some of the things that you are struggling with, then perhaps you need to honestly question whether your long distance relationship is for you and whether it will really work...

Now, what are the things that you can put in place to ensure a strong lasting relationship?

Agreement - the first thing to bear in mind for any successful relationship especially long distance is that you both need to be on the same page. You need to agree on things such as being in a monogamous relationship or whether you would still be able to see other people. If both of you or one of you still wants to date others then you may as well forget about trying to have a relationship long distance. You would only anticipate having such a relationship if you both were determined to build a long-lasting long-term relationship and you believed that your partner is the person you wish to be with for the rest of your life.

Good communication skills - the most important part of a good relationship is good communication skills and building a relationship over distance will require these skills. In fact, in situations like this, when the relationship is built successfully it is because the couple has been able to develop effective communication without the distraction of the physical side of a relationship. They are able to take their relationship to a deeper level of intimacy through connecting emotionally, mentally and spiritually before delving into the urgency of the physical side of the relationship. Much like in "olden times" when sex took place after marriage and the strength of the relationship was built on the three other aspects.

Commitment - making a promise to each other to be faithful and stay on track with their relationship and that one day they will be together, but for the time being there are requirements to be in separate places. It is also a commitment to make the relationship work, which is the same for any other relationship, but requires a little more effort especially when you miss having each other around.

Creativity - this is also important and is part of the commitment you make to each other. It is about being creative in keeping in touch. Nowadays with technology this can be a lot easier with programs like Skype and VOIP. Texting and email are also good but are harder to share intimate thoughts and feelings, letters and parcels are still a good second option to video and phone as they are a tangible "hard-copy" reminder and evidence of your lover's affection for you.

The answer to the original question is, "Yes, you can maintain a long distance relationship." It just takes more effort, and a determination and commitment to making it work, than a regular relationship, but on the other hand, it can be easier to build a deeper level of connection.

Following the guidelines in this long distance relationship advice will ensure that your love can be built to last, and you can achieve a loving intimate long-term relationship.

The Matter of Choice in Long Distance Relationships

Have you ever come across someone who just kept saying that a long distance relationship would not work no matter how hard you try? It even sounds more familiar when he/she ends the conversation with the universal phrase such as "I know it because I saw lots of failed LDR" If you choose to listen to this kind of comment, then you choose to fail in your long distance relationship because you will never be able to survive your LDR. The reason is simple, you choose to listen to the wrong command or choose to believe the wrong concept.

I truly believe that everyone in this world have their own opinion which is best to them all the time. What they think is true to them because they are capable of thinking only the true thing. I don't blame them because they are true at least in their own little world. It is all up to us to believe what is said or we can choose to believe that every outcome is at our own hand. Let me tell you this, you can completely determine your own outcome when it comes to a long distance relationship. How you think what you do can really determine the result of your LDR. If you choose to believe that you can determine the outcome of your long distance relationship, then your LDR journey will becomes easier or more predictable.

Below are some examples of the positive choices you can make in relation to your long distance relationship.

1) Believe in Yourself, Your Partner and the Relationship

Throughout the period of a long distance relationship, nothing beats the trust and believes you had in yourself, your partner and the relationship. You can prepare yourself whatever you want but if you do not believe that your long distance relationship will work then, nothing matters anymore. Therefore, you must choose to believe that the relationship will work regardless of all the odds mounting against your relationship.

2) Set Back is a Way to Strengthen your Relationship

There are no such things as a perfect romantic relationship and needless to say when it comes to long distance relationships. Set back is part and parcel of a relationship but how you tune yourself to see the set back is very important. You can choose to see it negatively or positively and the outcome (solutions) derived from what you choose can determine the course of your relationship. Therefore, instead of viewing the set back as a hindrance or threat to your long distance relationship, you must view it as an opportunity for you to strengthen the relationship.

3) You can Choose to Win or Lose

It is our nature to see only the negative side of everything due to lack of self confidence and uncertainties. We do not blame you for having this thought as most of the couples in long distance relationship we work with, expressed the same concern. However do you know that the success rate for long distance relationship couples is as good as any other relationship? Research has proven that the success rate for long distance relationship is as high as 85%. With this data, you can choose to be in the positive 85% or choose to stay in the failure 15%. Therefore if you are serious about your long distance relationship, you must put yourself among the success 85%.

4) Opportunity in Distance

Physical distance in a long distance relationship is not necessary bad to the relationship. Although physical distance prevents you from certain physical activities such as hand holding, kissing, hugging and sex, it does not prevent you from advancing further into the relationship. The physical distance is a good opportunity for you to rediscover the relationship and yourself. You can always take the opportunity to upgrade yourself while your partner is away such as taking up the courses that you have always wanted to take and etc. In fact the distance will also test your patience, the love you had for your partner and as well as the integrity of the relationship itself. Therefore, instead of focusing on what you cannot do over the distance, you can always focus on what you can do to improve your relationship from the distance. What you choose here could really determine whether you are happy or not throughout your long distance relationship.

5) Problem in Communication.

Communication is one of the biggest elements that could either make or break your long distance relationship. Unfortunately, many people believe that they are not going to make it when it comes to communication due to the difficulties, time and cost involve. Instead of looking at the problems, you can always think of the opportunity that comes along. The biggest opportunity here is to learn how to communicate effectively over the distance. The valuable skill cannot be learned anywhere else as distance will automatically sharpen your conversation skill. If you start to think carefully, all other problem mentioned earlier can be solved easily with current available technology (Internet, VOIP phone, email and etc). Therefore, it is proven again that you have the ability to choose what is best for you in regards to long distance communication.

There are two sides to every coin and the above are just some of the examples of the choices you can make in your long distance relationship. How or what you choose really makes the difference throughout the period of your long distance relationship. The choice is at your hand, choose correctly and you will triumph regardless of any relationship. Lastly, I on behalf of Perfect-Relationship.com would like to wish you all the best to your long distance relationship.

Long Distance Relationships: The truth

Not to bore you with statistics, but between 25-40% of all romantic relationships among college students are long distance. In fact, with the rise in revolutions in modern technology, which present new ways of keeping in touch (think web-cams!), long distance relationships, including marriages, are on the rise.

The first and foremost means of maintaining a relationship where the people involved don't live in the same vicinity (and often not even the same country) is effective communication. This is why it is extremely important for persons considering a long distance relationship to clearly communicate on all essential issues, much before hand, so as to side-step any conflict. Issues can range from simple problems like being home to receive your significant other's call, to the more complex concerns which may involve immigration and children. Even though sustaining a long distance relationship is very demanding, if two people have made a commitment to foster love between themselves no matter what, nothing is quite impossible. What's more is that if you share an insatiable, everlasting love for each other, it isn't a long shot to believe that God might even intervene to play the biggest supporting role in your lives. Yes, all you cynics out there doubt this, but trust us, we've seen some of the most hopeless relationships breed flowers.

To get to the point, one of the biggest downsides to a long distance relationship is the lack of physical closeness, which makes it really very hard to keep the spark alive. Yet, the idea of being in a satisfying relationship is such a blessed one that often people often realize that distance does make the heart grow fonder; sometimes even helping direct a doomed relationship onto a path of success. Another problem that people in a long distance relationship have to deal with is that of jealousy. Since your loved one isn't where you can keep an eye on him/her, it's extremely easy to get jealous and suspicious of even the minutest happenings, especially for people who are insecure. And who isn't? There's always a hint of insecurity in each one of us, especially when it comes to the people we love so much that we are terrified of being hurt by them. The way around this issue is to realize that trust is an important commodity to give to your partner; if this conviction in each other is mutual, suspicious notions can easily be extinguished. That is why it's important to be able to place your utmost trust in your partner, because if you're not sure of that, you can't ever be sure of anything else.

Yet another matter which couples in a long distance relationship have to deal with is that of loneliness. The obvious way of dealing with this is to physically meet as many times as possible, and to spend true quality time dedicated to each other when together. However, the rest of the time that individuals spend away from their better halves can often turn their loneliness into a case of depression, if they do not engage themselves in enough activities of interest. Thus, it is highly advisable for each distant lover to improve his or her social support system away from home (where the heart is!) Participating in leisure activities, performing social welfare duties, and indulging in artistic pursuits are recommended tools to break through the limits of lonesomeness. Lovers who cannot get together very often should also learn to be independent whilst nurturing healthy dependence upon one another. This leads to a balance of power in relationships, allowing individuals to remain autonomous while also growing as halves of the other.

Long distance relationships are also about adequately meeting the emotional needs of your partner. Even though there is a lot of room to breathe, and hardly any chance of your partner choking you out of your space (unless he/she can't stop calling you!), there are times when you need to just be there, no matter what. Also, with so much time spent apart, partners must not expect their better halves to stay exactly the same as they left them, because circumstances and surroundings do tend to affect a person's character.

Another thing that both partners in a long distance relationship need to understand is that it's imperative to learn to function under understandable expectations. It is vital for a person to know what to expect of their significant other, and to do their best to meet what is expected of them. If this isn't the case with your relationship, we suggest that you call for a warm discussion to clarify everything relational that has either been misunderstood or never been brought to the surface. Talking about it helps: We promise!

In all honesty, the secret to being happy in a long distance relationship is for the partners to ensure that emphasis is laid on their time spent together rather than the distance between them. In other words, it is best to get together, enjoy the little time one has with their distant lover in a happy frame of mind, rather than ruin the mood by remembering the times when you needed him/her and he/she was not around.

Yes, there is a great downside to long distance relationships, and everyone going through such a relationship is conscious of it. Even so, the pleasure of knowing that there is someone who cares no matter how far away they might be, tends to run over the list of pitfalls.

Long Distance Relationships - 8 Tips For Making Yours Fun, Fulfilling and Successful!

"Everything would have been fine if we lived in the same town/state/country," is the common reason many men and women give for a long distance relationship not working out.

Admitted, distance can put an enormous strain on a relationship, but claiming that "distance" is the only reason a relationship didn't work out or can not work is putting your hands over your ears and shouting, "la-la-la-la-la-la- land" because the truth is too much to handle.

I've met many men and women who won't even try long distance relationships because according to them "Long distance relationships just don't work".

That simply isn't true! Long distance relationships CAN and DO work if the two individuals involved want it to. In my opinion, the question is not "Do long distance relationships work?" but rather "Do both of you want to make it work?" If you both want to make it work, distance is just another obstacle that two people who truly love each other can easily overcome -- if they really want to.

These simple to follow tips will help your long distance relationship not only survive distance, they'll also help you lay a strong foundation for a relationship that is fun, fulfilling and successful!

1. Talk at least once a week

Technology has made it easier than ever to keep in touch long distance. A few quick emails, text messages and phone calls at least once a day (or even once a week) create a sense of being fully engaged in each other's lives. Your relationship success depends on you being connected, so set aside uninterrupted talk-time to "catch up" on each other's lives.

If the other person can't make time for even a 10 minutes' conversation, but has time to go out with friends, go to a party, go the gym, cook or even sleep, get a clue, that person isn't into you as you want to think. If the other person is truly interested in you, he or she'll show all signs of not only wanting to continue the relationship but to move closer. And if s/he truly loves you that much, s/he'll not only create the time for you, s/he'll put talking to you top most priority on his/her list of things to do. You on the other hand have to be realistic and not try to suck up all his/her time because you're dripping with neediness.

2. Cultivate independent but inter-dependent lives

The time between calls and in-person reunions can be pure torture if you're spending all your time apart obsessing about the other person. You may find that you've put everything on hold to the point that no one else and nothing else is important or meaningful in life except being with him or her. You're consumed with constantly trying to test his or her love for you; doing things to try to make his or her need you, telling him or her about your "other admirers" etc. If s/he doesn't call or email you when you expect him/her to, you feel restlessness, rejected and unwanted. Some people become so needy that the other person just shuts down emotionally.

Instead of wasting so much time and emotions acting all clingy, needy and controlling, use the "distance" to develop and grow as an individual with your own independent life and who enjoys your own company. You'll feel more positively about "distance" when you feel positive about yourself, the other person, the relationship and life in general. A positive outlook is very important to the success of a LDR.

3. Let go of fear of abandonment/loss

Distance has a way of playing up anxiety and fear of the unknown. You miss him/her so much that you start imagining him/her cheating on you even when deep down you know that s/he is not the cheating type. Even when s/he has given you no reason to think that s/he might cheat, you tell yourself, "You just never know" or "Don't be a fool!"

If you are not fully prepared to trust your man or woman you have no business being in a long distance relationship because in LDRs, trust is everything. Without trust, there is little point in having the relationship. Without trust sustaining a long distance relationship is impossible.

Discuss your anxiety and fears with him or her and once you get the reassurance you need, LET IT GO. Truth is, if s/he wants to cheat, s/he will and there is nothing you can do about it. Give your mind some rest and concentrate on building a strong foundation for your relationship. It also helps for you to make extra efforts to be reliable, to do what you say you are going to do and to show that you're trustworthy. Trust cuts both ways!

4. Keep that sense of fun and romance alive

One of the most difficult things about long distance relationships is that you can't just turn to your man or woman and say "let's go for a walk in the park", or just drop in and ask him or her out for a drink. In the absence of these seemingly insignificant shared moments that most people in proximity relationships take for granted, it's easy for two people to become so stuck in the waiting, and the future, that they completely forget about now. The relationship slowly loses it's spark and eventually fades out.

To avoid this, try as much as possible to go out on "virtual dates". For example, decide to go watch the latest movie on the same day and then later call the other to share experiences, thoughts and opinions. Better yet, if time zones allow and if it's cost effective, rent a movie and watch it "together" with the other person on the phone. You can also play cards or games over the internet etc. And don't forget to flirt, seduce and tell him or her just how much s/he means to you and how much you love him or her. The important thing is to take the necessary steps to keep the sense of fun, shared interests, romance and passion alive.

5. Create a supportive environment

There'll be times when it seems like the other person is not bothered by distance, is happy that you're apart, or is having more fun. This makes you feel like you are the only one who "cares". So instead of trying to understand what's causing him or her to act that way, be supportive of whatever they're going through and encouraging of his or her efforts given what the two of you have to deal with, you start instructing, coaching, and scolding the other person for not "caring" about you or the relationship. Eventually all conversations become about how the relationship is neither right nor going anywhere. And true enough, you find yourselves living down to your own expectations.

It's had enough to have a long distance relationship without the constant nagging, instructing, coaching, and scolding of someone who consistently treats the relationship as a one person's property or business. Use that excess energy to create a supportive environment that fosters understanding, reassurance and cooperation. Sometimes all you need to do is listen. Don't judge and don't try to fix. Just listen. You can also bounce ideas off him or her, etc. Work as allies with the same goal.

6. Always have a plan for the next in-person reunion

Just knowing when you'll see each other again makes it easier to handle long distance relationships. Make the planning and preparing for the reunion a joint project. Share your thoughts and dreams of your re-union on a regular basis. This can make your coming together much more exciting, meaningful and special.

Be careful, though. Don't let expectations of how fantastic your reunion is going to be build too high as the reality often doesn't match up to the fantasy. Expect there to be awkward silences, many down times and even arguments. It's a relationship not a fantasy!

7. Make plans for one of you to move

Someone must move at some point in order to keep the relationship together. If you're both eager to stay together, then set a date for getting together - either moving in or, at least, living in the same town and "dating". However, if it's a new relationship or a relationship on shaky grounds hold off the "future together" talk until you both feel that the relationship has matured, is more stable or until the other person is ready. If the other person is not ready, it doesn't matter how much you want it, it's never going to happen. The "I am not going to wait forever" may just become "It's over"

8. Ignore people who say long distance relationships don't work

It's not easy and there are no guarantees -- same as in all relationships. But don't run away from your long-distance relationship because everyone says "Long distance relationships don't and won't work". Long distance relationships have worked and can work for you if you are willing to do the hard work. If you're both emotionally mature enough, and are devoted enough, distance can teach both of you to exercise deeper connections, and provide for objective and honest assessment of your feelings for the each other. Distance can also encourage a stronger foundation for the development of your relationship.

At a time when careers increasingly demand greater mobility, long distance relationships are not only a very attractive option, they may very well be the future.

Not even distance can stop true love!

About the Author: Christine Akiteng is an internationally renowned Dating Confidence/Relationships Coach who has devoted her life to the blending of indispensable age-old wisdom with modern realities into a prescription for passion, vitality, balance and effortlessness. Her thought-provoking message of conscious intentionality offers singles new, realistic and stimulating insights to rediscovering the mysteries and eternal beauty of men - women sexual relationships.

Successful Long Distance Relationships - The 7 Key Secrets Of Successful Long Distance Relationships

Long distance relationships are becoming more common as people travel far away for work, study, or reasons beyond their control. While always challenging, there are ways to make relationships thrive despite the distance. Here are my 7 top tips for building successful long distance relationships....

1. Plan your long distance relationship

Make time for a serious heart-to-heart discussion with your partner. Face up to all the challenges that you are likely to experience through being so far apart from each other. Be honest and talk about all the 'what ifs' and plan what you can do when those occur as they surely will. Make contingency plans for your insecurities, your sexual needs, and what you need to put in place to keep the relationship thriving. The people that enjoy successful long distance relationships do not leave things to chance. By planning ahead, you strengthen your relationship commitment and build your resolve to make it work.

2. Keep the communication lines open

If you are hundreds or thousands of miles apart, it is easy to feel 'separated'. Successful long distance relationships require daily interaction and sharing (the 'relating' to each other bit). Phones, email, texting, postal mail, and web cams... you must use them all. Remember that there is a hierarchy of value to these communication systems. Your best bet is to use a combination of web cam and an internet phone like Skype, so that you can see and talk to each other. Texts and emails are great for short little notes but no more than that as they are so open to misinterpretation. Make sure to send gifts, photos, home movie clips, and traditional love letters via postal mail too. There is nothing quite so rewarding as receiving a package from a distant loved one -- it lets your partner know how much you care about them and are thinking of them.

3. Romantic ideas for long distance relationships

So how do you stay romantic during a long distance relationship? Romance is built on thoughtfulness, creativity and shared experiences of intimacy and joy. There are lots of ways you can demonstrate your romantic side, however far apart you are. Most important to your partner is being reassured that they are still loved and that you are thinking about them despite all the distractions of life where you are. Keep them in your heart by making a commitment to staying in regular contact. Send thoughtful and romantic care packages, as discussed, by mail. And make time for alone time together on your web cam internet phone get-togethers. One of the most romantic things you can do for successful long distance relationships is plan your future together. Talk about what you are going to do in the future. Always speak in terms of how much you are looking forward to being with them physically and sharing a life together. Plan what you are going to do when you meet up next time. And make the most of your memories and shared experiences. Talking about the fun things that you have done and will do is great strategy for keeping the chemistry alive in any romantic relationship. Be sure to give your partner regular and frequent re-assurance of your love and commitment. Watch out for misunderstanding and strive to get clarity in all your communications with your long-distance partner. Make sure when you are on the phone or web cam that you are alone. That way you can express yourselves better and there will be nothing to distract you.

4. Coping with sexual frustration and temptation

If you are healthy, you are going to be horny and it's hard to get satisfaction if your partner is the other side of the country, or worse, the world. It is essential that you are both perfectly clear on the boundaries of the relationship. Some people are okay with the idea of their partners seeing other people while they are apart. But most are not. Clarify your own relationship and the level of commitment you are willing to give each other. Assess the likelihood of temptations. If your sweetie is off to college on the West Coast while you are going to college on the East Coast, you have to decide how strong your relationship is because you are both going to face major temptation in the form of other people who are actually there in front of you. Every couple is unique and only the pair of you can decide whether you can realistically commit. The secret is to maintain those communication lines and include lots of time for high-tech intimacy in the form of phone sex and web cam sex. Obviously you need a high level of trust in a relationship to do this, as you do not want to discover your beloved has posted your naked pictures online! Successful long distance relationships make provisions for sexual frustration by scheduling 'fun' time. More than that they focus on the experience of intimacy and depth and that is part of all your communications. The more you reveal of your true self the closer the relationship becomes. As for coping with temptation, this is where your commitment comes into play and the future planning that you do. Most people can get by on the promise of the hot stuff! Just make sure you carry through on what you say you are going to do to each other when you meet up!

5. Overcoming feelings of jealousy and fears of cheating

All romantic relationships can experience jealousy and fears about cheating, but generally long distance relationships take longer to resolve those feelings. The grass always seems greener on the other side especially if one partner has gone away somewhere exciting while the other is at home. If every time you talk to your beloved there appears to be a party on in the background, no wonder you feel jealous. The important thing is to not beat yourself up about it. It's natural to feel a bit jealous and insecure. It is going to happen, so accept it and do not let it escalate. Maintain your own high self-esteem and high self-worth. Keep doing the things that you enjoy doing. You are a valuable, attractive, interesting person. It's important for your own mental health that you adopt the attitude that your partner is lucky to have you in their life. Think that you are the best choice for them. Successful long distance relationships use the distance to have a clearer perspective on the relationship. Acknowledge the reality that you could form a successful relationship with any number of people. But you have chosen to build a wonderful relationship with this person who just happens to be a long distance away at this time. With this perspective your relationship is always based on choice. With you choosing to create a loving relationship rather than it being about neediness, craving or thinking this is the one and only.

6. Dealing with doubt about your feelings

Accept that it is natural for your enthusiasm to lessen at times. All relationships wax and wane, so refuse to see it as indicative of a failing relationship. Do not be afraid to express your feelings within a context that is safe. If you have planned well, you will have provided for this eventuality and you will both know that it is just a natural part of being apart. Evaluate where you are and where you are headed in the relationship. Make sure that you have shared relationship goals to aim for and that you are actively talking about your next physical meeting and any future life plans. People who live very much in the moment can often find it harder to maintain touch with their feelings for someone while apart. If that is you, make sure both you and your partner understand that you might not be as demonstrative from a distance. In this situation, it is best to try and schedule more regular meetings if possible. But it is also important, for your life not just your relationship, that you gain a better and longer time perspective. The most successful people financially are those who think and plan 10, 20, 30 years ahead. The same is true in relationships. Successful long distance relationships occur when both parties see the separation as temporary and having a finite duration, and that they are building towards a future together

7. Successful relationships at a distance and close-up

Ultimately you want to find out how to successfully love another person and how to create a blissful relationship. The fact that you are going to be apart for a while is just another challenge that you need to rise to. Relationships are full of challenges. Things are always coming along to throw you off balance. That is life. The trick is to adapt and overcome life's challenges. In traditional wedding vows, the couple make promises to each other that they love, respect and care for each other through thick and thin, in rich times and poor times. There is a real magic in a commitment like that. Making a vow of that nature builds deep love between two people. Deep love is something you can only experience with time and commitment. It enriches your soul. You feel fulfilled by it to your very marrow. Successful long distance relationships are built by people committed to love and being loving to each other. Love is a verb. It is something that you can choose to do. Often times choosing to love involves hard work. But the rewards it pays outweigh anything else you can get from this world.

Long Distance Relationship - Am I Right For It?

How to know if you have what it takes

Go and ask Michael Jordan. He'll tell you to just do it.

No, seriously, there really isn't any other way to find out if you will be able to do it. The only thing you can do is have yourself better prepared for what lies ahead once you are in a long distance relationship.

To be quite honest, I believe that everybody has the potential to make a long distance relationship work. Go to a forum and ask a simple question like: Do you think you can have a long distance relationship? I'd bet you that at least half the people responding would say no. Some would even try and persuade you that long distance relationships don't work. They've been proven wrong time after time, so I prefer not to even enter a discussion with people like that.

It has been said that if you surround yourself with the negative messages from negative people all the time, you will become negative. It's probably been proven by somebody somewhere, but I don't need proof of it, it sounds like common sense and that is enough.

I would agree that some people will find it very hard to be in a long distance relationship. For others, it may be quite easy. So how do you become someone that can do a long distance relationship?

Becoming a long distance relationship survivor
Getting your mindset right
I personally think it comes down to commitment. You have to commit yourself to making a long distance relationship work. In fact, you have to commit yourself to making any relationship work. Long distance relationships aren't really that different from normal relationships. The temptations and frustrations aren't really bigger, they're just different. Once you wrap your head around that concept, you're already halfway towards making a success of your long distance relationship.

Do a search on ezine articles for an article called Communication, Commitment and Trust that I posted on here recently. It will help you a lot.

Read that article, and get you mindset geared towards making a long distance relationship work. Next, you will have to get your life geared towards making a long distance relationship possible.

Getting your life right
You now have to think long distance relationship. If you're not yet in a long distance relationship, but heading towards one (maybe your partner is leaving soon to go and work somewhere else?) you have a great opportunity to start it right first time. If you're already in a long distance relationship, don't despair. Most of the things you need to do, you will probably do correctly instinctively. You need to be prepared for quite a lot of things. This list is in no way exhaustive. Your specific situation may have a lot more variables. When heading into a long distance relationship, you should think about:

- How are you going to communicate

- How often are you going to communicate

- When are you going to see each other again

- How will you keep yourself occupied

How are you going to communicate
You should sort it out beforehand. For instance, where I am now, in the bush, there are no telephone lines. There are cell phone towers, but to phone internationally with them is very expensive. Luckily we have a satellite internet connection, so we can use VOIP (skype, etc.) to communicate. What mode of communication will you use?

How often are you going to communicate
Set out specific times when you will be contacting each other. It helps to gives you some kind of structure in your life to hold on to, and gives you something to look forward to.

When are you going to see each other again
Obviously as soon as possible, but have you planned it out yet? When is it going to be? How are you going to get together? It's fun to plan out your get-togethers, and it helps you to realize you'll soon be seeing each other again.

How will you keep yourself occupied
Remember, if you're new to this, you will suddenly find yourself with a lot more time on your hands. You don't want to be using that time negatively by becoming depressed about being alone. If you need to, you can even sign up for an evening class in something you've always wanted to do. Make the most out of the bad situation by making the most out of your own talents.

In conclusion, I would say you are probably right for a long distance relationship. Nobody likes them, and everybody would like to avoid them if they can, but unfortunately that isn't always an option. Give it a shot - you'll be surprised to find out your own strength.

When a Plane Ride is Necessary to See Your Honey - Long-Distance Relationships

Long distance relationships (LDR) are not for the weak at heart, not only that, they can also be expensive.  Even if two people only live 4 hours a part, it gets expensive running back and forth, even if you take turns.  Long distance relationships have a whole new dimension to them then a traditional relationship and one thing they can not survive with out is trust and communication, if either is lacking the relationship will never make it. 

There are a couple reasons people can find themselves in a long distance relationship:

Work takes on of the partners away.  With the war, many couples have been separated for long periods of time to where they have had to rely on their foundation they have built in their relationship to pull them through their absence.  If the foundation is shaky, the relationship can be at risk.  That is why it is so important to have a strong level of trust in your partner and excellent communication skills.  You never know what may separate you. Online dating sites have created many long distance relationships.

Pre-established relationships that are disconnected through work or other reasons that finds them in a long distance relationship may be able to benefit from some of these tips.  However, this article is more directed towards the population that are in new relationships that are long distance out of choice by either chance encounters or meeting on an online dating site.  

Long distance relationships by choice are becoming a common relationship.  It is estimated that 4.4 million college age people and 3.5 million dating couples are in long distant relationships.  That is not counting married couples that are separated do to work or war.  The online dating sites continue to add to these numbers daily as people are easily connected to people who live cities, to states, to countries apart from one another.  Break up rates in long distant couples is not that much greater then amongst couples that live in close proximity with one another or even together.  Although LDRs have to work at their relationship in a different manner then traditional relationships, over all they are no less satisfied with the relationship other then the distance. 

Something you need to consider if you are thinking about entering a long distance relationship is if you are capable of handling the extra commitment and work it requires.  If you are recently in a LDR and have already have had thoughts of straying or obsessive thoughts that your partner is cheating you are not cut out for the long distance lifestyle.  Here are some tips that will help in your dating ventures as well as maintenance of a long distance relationship.

Have an end in sight. 

When people are separated by work or war, they have the advantage of knowing approximately how long the separation will be.  This gives them something tangible to look forward to and calms fears of never being together.  Therefore, give yourself the same advantage.  Before getting to deep into the relationship, make a time line of how the relationship would ideally work out.  Is the other person finishing their degree and does not choose to leave their current university?  Take into accounts what things are happening in each other's lives and make a reasonable time line of when the separation is going to end and you will be united. 

Think about your willingness to relocate.  If you have no intentions on relocating, make sure to make that clear early on in the relationship.  You partner may feel the same way and you are then at a stalemate and need to make a decision to continue or call it quits. 

Make time to communicate

In long distance relationship, communication levels need to be increased drastically compared to traditional relationships.  You are wise to make sure you have the same cell phone carriers or a really good long distance phone plan.  Schedule your communication so each partner knows when the next time will be when he or she will hear from you.  This takes some of the worry out of the equation.  The more you talk the less the distance will appear.  Mark dates and times a month in advance with each other.  It gives you both parties a tangible thing to look forward to.  If for some reason you are not going to be able to call on a scheduled time, let the partner know in advance.  Do not just blow it off as if it does not matter.  Always think, would you want the same done to you?

Physical visits

Just like the phone communication, schedule physical visits in advance, the more the better, but no less then once every six months.  Depending on the amount of distance between the couple will play a factor in the frequency of visits.  It can get very expensive traveling all the time.  However, in addition to scheduling physical visits, schedule mini vacations like a traditional relationship would have.  This continues to help the relationship grow and stay fresh. 

Trust

Trust can be an issue in any relationship, however if you already have trust issues, long distance is not for you.  It takes a blind trust in a sense to be able to handle LDRs.  You do not have the luxury of seeing this person daily nor can you talk to them every night the entire night through.  You have to be willing to give a level of trust that is even deeper then that in a traditional relationship.  Statistics show that people e who are in LDR do not cheat any more then a traditional relationship, however, they do have a tendency to worry about it more which can bring problems of their own in the relationship.  A person can actually begin to believe their partner is cheating purely from worry alone and by no indication from the other partner that there is anything wrong. 

Intimacy

In a long distance relationship, intimacy takes on a completely new meaning.  You have to learn to focus on what you have at your disposal rather then what you don't have.  LDRs need to communicate more and in a variety of ways to stimulate as many senses as possible.  Hand written letters, emails, phone call, video chats, tape-recorded messages, pictures, and tokens of love are all great ways to improve a distant intimacy.  People in LDR need to communicate more there day to day activities, plans, how their day went, the small details of their life as well as the bigger ones to help the couples feel a part of their everyday living and an important part of each other's life. 

Isolation

It is easy for people in LDR to begin to isolate themselves from others and only focus strictly on work to avoid uncomfortable situations while out in public.  They appear to be physically single; however, they are not single emotionally.  Although LDR are becoming more acceptable as a alternative dating arrangement, it is not yet seen by all as a real relationship which leads the person in a LDR having to re-explain their position repeatedly.  Rather then always having to feel the need to defend their LDR and the reality of their love they simply avoid any situations that may bring up question.  However, this is very unhealthy.  People in long distance relationships still need to have a support circle with whom they can feel safe to discuss their relationship with as well as socialize with other people. 

Quality of Relationship

Most people in LDR measure the success of their relationship based off their last physical encounter rather then the relationship as a whole.  If the last visit went poorly, they may sit back with worries until the next visit.  Phone conversations in the mid term avoid discussing how or why the last visit did not go well as others so the moment is not ruined.  This is another aspect where long distance relationships can fail.  Although they may have increase communication, they need to discuss the good and the bad and work through them regardless if they are sitting next to each other.  They cannot allow things to fester up until the next visit and expect it to go well, or try to hide the negative feelings they have been dealing with since the last visit.  Although the communication needs to be at an increased level in LDR, it needs to be of increased quality as well.  

Sex

Over all, couples with mutual commitment to a LDR report having a satisfying sex relationship.  When they do get to see each other physically, the sex is always fresh, new and exciting, much like honeymooning.  The downside of this can be that the expectation level of their sex life remaining at status quo after uniting is unrealistic and seldom happens which can lead to problems and eventual break in the relationship.  Couples substitute the physical connection part of sex while away through phone sex, erotic emails, and pictures.  If you are not comfortable with "phone sex" and/or self-pleasure, you may want to reconsider a long distance relationship

Long distance relationship can work, they just take a different level of commitment, trust, and the couple must have excellent communication skills to make one work. 

Think Your Way to a Successful Long Distance Relationship

In every Long Distance Relationships that I observed and work with, I discovered one very important element that could either hold or break a long distance relationship. You may think that you are ready for this kind of relationships, you may also think that you have enough material at hand to support you thru the relationship or you may even have convince yourself thousand time that it will work. Without knowing the working principle of the element that I am going to share with your in this article, you will fail. The element is none other than your mind power. How you think and act on what you think is very important to ensure that your long distance relationship has a happy ending. So how must you think?

1) Positive Thinking

Enough have been said of positive thinking but do really anyone think positively when facing a problem? You may tell yourself that you are willing to give two years to your partner but in actual fact, do you condition yourself to think positively for two years? For example, half way thru the relationship, your partner may tell you that he/she has given up hope on the relationship due to some difficulties, what will you do? Most of us will start to blame the other party for not keeping the promise or beginning to give way which is not good. How many of us will think positive by looking into other alternatives? So, ask yourself are your willing to think positively all the way?

2) Forward Thinking

Apart from positive thinking, there is also another type of thinking that you must cultivate in order to be successful in your long distance relationship. I call this Forward Thinking. Forward Thinking is conditioning yourself to see the success of your future now. Why this type of thinking important? It is important because, this type of thinking will condition your mind to accept only the outcome that you want. For example, if you condition yourself to see yourself married to your partner in long distance relationship, any shortcoming during the long distance relationship will not have big impact because your subconscious mind already planted the success seed. You will brave yourself thru any shortcoming as you know that you will succeed.

3) Creative Thinking

So what creative thinking got to do with long distance relationship? Let's put it this way, what exactly does long distance relationship can offer comparing to other relationship? Nothing, yes there are absolutely nothing if you see it from the fact and that is why many long distance relationship fail as there is nothing much you can do due to the physical distance. That is why you need to think differently or more precise creatively when you are in a long distance relationship. For example, have you ever think that you can actually sleep together every night in your long distance relationship or you can actually kiss your lover in your relationship? All of this can be done if you think creatively and differently. You cannot deny the distance but you can always use the distance to your advantage if you think creatively.

The above are the examples of some of the way of thinking you must have or cultivate in order to put spice to your otherwise mundane long distance relationship. How you think will determine how far you can go in your long distance relationship.

Saving A Long Distance Relationship - The 5 Keys To A Successful Long Distance Relationship

I'm here to answer all of your questions about saving a long distance relationship. Are you in a stressful long distance relationship? Are things not quite going as you both planned? Is it getting harder and harder to trust one another? All of these things are common when it comes to trying to make a long distance relationship work. If you answered yes to all those questions then you definitely came to the right place. I am going to give you five keys to saving a long distance relationship. You have to really care for someone to even start a relationship from miles away or remain in a relationship when it's going to become long distance. I'm sure this article is going to better your situation and enhance the passion between you too even if it's from many miles away.

Key #1

Making time to talk every day is the most important thing you can do for you long distance relationship. You have to set time aside every single day to talk to your partner. Even if it's just for an hour; it's crucial to keep the closeness of the relationship going. Don't pick a time when you're on your way somewhere or have any kinds of distractions. All a distracted environment will do is make your partner feel unimportant and ignored. Not being able to be close to one another is hard on both of you so it's very essential to insure that there is no confusion about what your priorities are

Key #2

Over communicating is another good practice when you are in a long distance relationship. It's hard to trust in the fact that your love isn't out there creeping behind your back. Communicating the little details will help eliminate this problem drastically. Make sure you know each others schedules and all the little daily routines that you both due. A simple text once you've left work and got home goes a long way. Sharing your frustration about the traffic or an issue at work is just as important as the major things that go on in your life whether its losing your job or the loss of a loved one. You have to treat all conversations as you would if you were living under the same roof.

Key #3

Just because you aren't in the same state doesn't mean you can't go on romantic dates from time to time. Set up times to watch the same movie and discuss it over the phone with one another. Find an online game you too can play together; it's amazing how much fun it can be. The advances in technology are infinite, there's Skype, AIM, texts, picture messaging, and the list goes on. There are all these different ways to communicate and even see one another. Web chat dates are awesome it makes you feel so much closer to them and gives you the opportunity to talk face to face. This keeps having the "out of sight, out of mind" mentality completely out of the picture. This way if there are any feelings floating around about the eye to eye contact the long distance dates will definitely help in saving a long distance relationship.

Key #4

In high school it was always nice to get a note from that special someone or even just from a best friend. Adapt that system and make it your own. Email has made it so easy to be lazy and make us forget that we know how to use a pen and paper. Write them a letter telling them why you love them and what saving a long distance relationship like yours means to you. Seeing your hand writing and smelling your scent on the paper will immediately make them feel right next to you. It creates a sort of excitement waiting for them to get the letter and then anticipating the reply in the mail. It's wonderful what the different forms of communication will do for how you feel about each other as well as the closeness you feel.

Key #5

Last but certainly not least; saving a long distance relationship takes an optimistic mind. You cannot get negative and spend time repeating over and over that you miss each other and how hard this is. You have to remind each other how much you love each other and how this long distance is worth it. Tell them that you'll see each other soon. Also make sure you're making plans to see one another. Southwest Airlines is very affordable so there is always a way to make it work. Show them that you're going to do whatever it takes to make your long distance relationship survive.

The 5 keys mentioned above are very effective and will work wonders for anyone interested in saving a long distance relationship. But some situations may call for more unconventional tactics that are guaranteed to work. But these secrets are proven to work so well at saving a long distance relationship that they have been labeled as controversial and even dangerous if used by individuals with ill intentions. So before I share with you the secret weapon let me first say that this is NOT for stalkers, ex convicts, people with severe mental problems or other crazies, cuckoos or whack jobs. If you do not fit into one of the above categories then I invite you to consider the statement below.

Long Distance Relationships - Do They Work?

Everyone has been in one, and either they loved it or they hated it. Long distance relationships. Can they work, are they worth it, how do you instill trust, where is the sense of commitment. These are all questions that we ask ourselves when we are in a long distance relationship. Here we will go over a few ways you can make your long distance relationship last, until it can blossom into a relationship where you are closer, both geographically, and physically.

First, lets look at a few of the pros and cons of long distance relationships. Sometimes distance is good for couples, and for others it is the main problem. If you are the type of person that does not want to spend every waking moment with your partner then long distance relationships are a perfect match for you. However, you may find yourself asking, why do I not want to spend time with this person, are they really right for me? Do not waste your time with long distance relationships, if you are simply using them as a crutch to keep the level of commitment low.

Intimacy is a problem with these types of relationships as well. Sometimes you do not feel a great connection with your partner if you cannot see them, touch them, or make love to them. This is a true test that you will have to overcome. The whole point to a long distance relationship is at one point in time you will want to see each other everyday, and let your relationship grow into what most people consider a normal relationship. Lets save what a normal relationship is for the next article.

Now even though you may feel disconnected form your partner, when you do finally get those times to spend together, you cherish them at a deeper level, and they always feel better then if you saw each other everyday. There is no time for fighting or arguing because you know your time together is short, and so you make the most out of it.

The truth is that long distance relationships work, if you let them. Follow these few suggestions to keep your relationship on track.

First, and this may seem like common sense, you have to have an attraction to each other. A physical attraction is not enough. There must be some sort of emotional attachment for this to work.

Second, you both need to know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. This means that you both have to believe that one day you will be together, and it is a common goal that you are working towards. You just have something that has happened in life that is keeping you apart, for now. Perhaps you are waiting for a transfer, or maybe you are going to school, and have to wait until you graduate to make any commitments. As much as I believe in miracles, you cannot just hope for the best. You need to communicate about this issue, rather then just brushing it under the rug.

Thirdly, you both need to see each other on a regular basis. Have a date set that you go out and see each other, once a month, or as time permits. Once a month is a good model to live by. Unless you live in another country, but in that case you need to be more crafty in how you develop the relationship. You need to create a connection, that is usually done on a physical level, but somehow doing it from miles away. You can watch a movie together online, or read the same book at night and talk about t on the phone. Share your dreams, and goals with each other. These things trick the mind into feeling closer then you may think you are.

Fourth, communication is everything. In long distance relationships, communication means even more then it does in your average relationship. The great thing is that there is many lines of communication these days. You have many options with the Internet and phone, as to how you want to communicate. Skype is a great option as you can see and hear each other, and it is very inexpensive. However, keep things interesting by writing letters, sending pictures, flowers, and candy to keep things alive.

Fifth, since communication plays a vital role, make sure you write a lot. Whether you are writing a letter or composing an email, be honest, be straight forward. Tell them everything you need that person to know about you that you would otherwise tell them in a normal conversation. If you had a dream, tell them about it. Whatever you do, do not lie about who you are, or pretend to be someone you are not.

Sixth, stay away form jealousy. Long distance relationships are scary in that you have to put your entire trust in that person. Everyone is insecure, but when that turns to jealousy the relationship is weakened. It does not hurt to show that you have feelings when someone flirts with your partner, or shows interest, but do not go crazy, and start a fight over it.

Seventh, be courteous to your partner, and try to avoid situations that may spark infidelity, or jealousy. Remember, that even though it is a long distance relationships, you are committed to each other, and so if you would not like it if they went to wild parties then perhaps you should not go to them either. This is a double standard if you go, and expect them not to, so be open with each other about your boundaries.

Eighth, have faith in each other, and in your relationship. If you think things will not work then you are working towards a filing relationship. Just because you hear others say that these relationships do not work, does not mean your will not. Have faith in your partner, and wish for the best.

Ninth, positive thinking can be the make it or break it point in your relationship. You need to stay positive, and this will come across in your tone of voice, and your behaviors. In long distance relationships it is difficult to know what one another is thinking, and it is even harder to interpret tat over an email. So if you think positively and it comes across to your partner things will work in your favor.

tenth, have fun. Just like in any relationship you need to enjoy yourself. Perhaps this is not your life partner, but who is to say that until you have had a bit of fun together.

Tips For Long Distance Relationships

Long Distance Relationships work
When couples are separated geographically by a big distance it's said that they are having a long distance relationship. There is a common belief that long distance relationships don't work and while I am not completely against that belief, still I am not completely with it. The aim of this article is not to prove whether long distance relationships work or not, but its aim is to explain the problems that sometimes accompany long distance relationships from a psychological view point so that you could avoid these problems.

The Problem with Long Distance Relationships
In the psychology of convincing article I mentioned how the subconscious mind can be convinced to believe in something through repetition. The rule is simple,If you kept repeating a belief over and over you may eventually believe in it.

This rule works in relationships too; the more you see your partner the more you will become convinced that you will always be together (on the condition that you really love each other).
The problem with long distance relationships is that the couple don't see each other for long periods of time to the extent that they sometimes experience weird feelings when they meet again. In this case both of them slowly lose intimacy and end up with separation.

The internet & Long distance Relationships
When the relationship starts through the internet without the couple seeing each other the problem becomes even bigger. Some relationships become solely based on the internet to the extent that each one of them doesn't know how the other looks like. They fall in love, suffer from pain and even become depressed on break-ups without even seeing each other.

The biggest problem with an internet based relationship is that when the couple meet or see each other in the real world they may discover that they have made the completely wrong choice. This happens because of the violation of the subconscious criteria, which is a criterion each one has for his future partner. Since this criteria can't be verified trough the internet the result is the termination of the relationship soon after the first meeting.

The internet is a good method to maintain your long distance relationship that already started when you were physically located together but it's not a good place to start a new relationship.
Long distance Relationships Tips

If you want to maintain your long distance relationship you should stick to the following practices:

* See each other whenever you can, this prevents loss of intimacy

* Use a webcam instead of ordinary chatting

* Inform each other about every single event that is taking place in your lives

* Make sure that the long distance relationship is going to be a temporary and short period

* Make clear plans to live together as soon as you can