Everyone has been in one, and either they loved it or they hated it. Long distance relationships. Can they work, are they worth it, how do you instill trust, where is the sense of commitment. These are all questions that we ask ourselves when we are in a long distance relationship. Here we will go over a few ways you can make your long distance relationship last, until it can blossom into a relationship where you are closer, both geographically, and physically.
First, lets look at a few of the pros and cons of long distance relationships. Sometimes distance is good for couples, and for others it is the main problem. If you are the type of person that does not want to spend every waking moment with your partner then long distance relationships are a perfect match for you. However, you may find yourself asking, why do I not want to spend time with this person, are they really right for me? Do not waste your time with long distance relationships, if you are simply using them as a crutch to keep the level of commitment low.
Intimacy is a problem with these types of relationships as well. Sometimes you do not feel a great connection with your partner if you cannot see them, touch them, or make love to them. This is a true test that you will have to overcome. The whole point to a long distance relationship is at one point in time you will want to see each other everyday, and let your relationship grow into what most people consider a normal relationship. Lets save what a normal relationship is for the next article.
Now even though you may feel disconnected form your partner, when you do finally get those times to spend together, you cherish them at a deeper level, and they always feel better then if you saw each other everyday. There is no time for fighting or arguing because you know your time together is short, and so you make the most out of it.
The truth is that long distance relationships work, if you let them. Follow these few suggestions to keep your relationship on track.
First, and this may seem like common sense, you have to have an attraction to each other. A physical attraction is not enough. There must be some sort of emotional attachment for this to work.
Second, you both need to know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. This means that you both have to believe that one day you will be together, and it is a common goal that you are working towards. You just have something that has happened in life that is keeping you apart, for now. Perhaps you are waiting for a transfer, or maybe you are going to school, and have to wait until you graduate to make any commitments. As much as I believe in miracles, you cannot just hope for the best. You need to communicate about this issue, rather then just brushing it under the rug.
Thirdly, you both need to see each other on a regular basis. Have a date set that you go out and see each other, once a month, or as time permits. Once a month is a good model to live by. Unless you live in another country, but in that case you need to be more crafty in how you develop the relationship. You need to create a connection, that is usually done on a physical level, but somehow doing it from miles away. You can watch a movie together online, or read the same book at night and talk about t on the phone. Share your dreams, and goals with each other. These things trick the mind into feeling closer then you may think you are.
Fourth, communication is everything. In long distance relationships, communication means even more then it does in your average relationship. The great thing is that there is many lines of communication these days. You have many options with the Internet and phone, as to how you want to communicate. Skype is a great option as you can see and hear each other, and it is very inexpensive. However, keep things interesting by writing letters, sending pictures, flowers, and candy to keep things alive.
Fifth, since communication plays a vital role, make sure you write a lot. Whether you are writing a letter or composing an email, be honest, be straight forward. Tell them everything you need that person to know about you that you would otherwise tell them in a normal conversation. If you had a dream, tell them about it. Whatever you do, do not lie about who you are, or pretend to be someone you are not.
Sixth, stay away form jealousy. Long distance relationships are scary in that you have to put your entire trust in that person. Everyone is insecure, but when that turns to jealousy the relationship is weakened. It does not hurt to show that you have feelings when someone flirts with your partner, or shows interest, but do not go crazy, and start a fight over it.
Seventh, be courteous to your partner, and try to avoid situations that may spark infidelity, or jealousy. Remember, that even though it is a long distance relationships, you are committed to each other, and so if you would not like it if they went to wild parties then perhaps you should not go to them either. This is a double standard if you go, and expect them not to, so be open with each other about your boundaries.
Eighth, have faith in each other, and in your relationship. If you think things will not work then you are working towards a filing relationship. Just because you hear others say that these relationships do not work, does not mean your will not. Have faith in your partner, and wish for the best.
Ninth, positive thinking can be the make it or break it point in your relationship. You need to stay positive, and this will come across in your tone of voice, and your behaviors. In long distance relationships it is difficult to know what one another is thinking, and it is even harder to interpret tat over an email. So if you think positively and it comes across to your partner things will work in your favor.
tenth, have fun. Just like in any relationship you need to enjoy yourself. Perhaps this is not your life partner, but who is to say that until you have had a bit of fun together.
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